Read This Before Buying Anything

Okay, I hate email titles like that, which try to manipulate you into opening the email, only to disappoint you with junk inside, and making you wary of opening emails from said person/business again.  But go with me here for a minute.

I figured you may want a little breather from following election news.  Instead, let’s take a break, put on some fuzzy slippers, make some tea (or coffee if it’s before 5pm), and do something fun.  I would also like to take a bath, but it’s not going to happen, since our tub is still ripped out.  You go enjoy, though.

Okay, so back to what I was saying about expecting something exciting and new, only to be disappointed by something that wasn’t what it promised to be.  I’m going to be real with you.  And I know I will offend some, but please hear me out.

Don’t set your hopes on this:

Or this:

Or this:

These things will fail you, people.  That’s because they’re from Target.  You deserve better than this.  I know it’s tempting because they look so cute on the shelf and seem to be in-style and inexpensive, but they are actually rather pathetic images of the real thing, and cost a lot more than they should.  They will disappoint you and leave you wondering why your house looks less-than-amazing even though you dropped some significant cash once you add it up.

Let me help.

You need the real deal when it comes to home decor, not a shiny-new knock-off, which will disappoint you as soon as the plastic veneer peels away and you discover it’s made of nothing but glued-together sawdust.

And by real-deal, I’m not meaning expensive.  Take this one:

Does this remind you of anything?  It should.  It’s part of a shipping pallet.  But not a real pallet, which is made out of authentic weathered (solid) wood, but an imposter with a weathered finish.  And it’s $22.99.  And it’s actually just about one sixth of a whole pallet anyway.  And since it’s not real, once you get it out of the box and put it near real items in your house, it’ll look a little disappointing.  Save the money and splurge on a real pallet.  Like, a free one.

While I “like” each of these Target items (except for the starving deer legs), they are deceptive.  They only look good because they are surrounded by cardboard boxes and metal shelves.  If your home has higher-quality materials than cardboard and metal shelving, these Target items aren’t going to shine quite so much.

I know.  Some of you are laying on the floor and kicking your legs about this.  I understand.  I used to be a die-hard Target shopper, and yesterday when I was taking these pictures I almost succumbed once again.  To this:

While this pillow is cute, I figured there’s a fifty-fifty chance it’s going to look like a Kmart special next to my real pillows, making my husband have to make a special trip to Target to return it. (Returning things for me is my love language).  So after walking around in the store with it for awhile, I decided to put it back.

Here’s the deal.  If you’re going to get something that looks old, get the real deal.  It’s usually cheaper and it’ll actually make a big difference once you put it in your house.  Pretend-old things have a way of looking flimsy and thin when you put them in your actual space.  You’ll get a lot more out of your decor if it’s not particle board covered in weathered-wood-looking-laminate or else real wood that’s somehow made of marshmallows.

And when it comes to pillows, here’s my thought process.

1.  If you have cash, just buy it at Pottery Barn.
2. If you don’t have cash, learn to sew in a straight line and make one out of one of your husband’s plaid shirts.  Use a cheap drop cloth from Home Depot for the back of the pillow.  Then borrow a pillow insert from somewhere in your house and stuff it.  Enjoy, and hope your husband didn’t like that shirt as much as you did.
3. If you have a little bit of cash, go to HomeGoods or Tuesday Morning and buy one (which will likely still have a down insert), and enjoy away.  If you see one you like at Target, try and resist because it will likely not have a removable insert and will be flattened in the first week.

We’ll talk more about where to get really cool vintage decor items in a future post.  Hope you all voted and are having a good Election Day so far!